She already has said "OK BYE" to him with her actions. As with all forms of personal change, the only possible way to salvage this relationship is if both parties truly and honestly want it. And seeing as this girl has already demonstrated that when the chips are down she considers him a non-entity, I find that exceedingly unlikely.
Slade Rahl said:
So true, to the people saying just drop her. I mean seriously, you invest 10 years of your life into something, it's a bit more complicated than that. You can't just be like "OK BYE" no matter what the fuck she did.
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by graphique on Sep 7, 2009:
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by alecjahn on Sep 7, 2009:
I think a lot of the things people have been saying are a little iffy, depending on how attached wan5 is to her.
I've been in love/trailing/being stupid with a girl for about 5-6 years. One-way street. Maybe it's a stupid case, maybe I'm just plain stupid. Even after getting the shit beaten out of me, verbally, by her... I don't feel like there's any other choice for me than to continue my feelings. It feels like its going to be a rough future.
Basically, what I'm getting as is that you can't always just go find someone else because of yourself.
I highly recommend an intimate (as in, alone) conversation, a true discussion where two people are cordially being adults and figuring out the situation. Beyond that, I highly HIGHLY recommend NO text-based communication, or even phone calls except to make plans, and don't get too drunk either. I know I've fucked up doing both, you get weird ideas in your head that seem logical at the time, and silly hours later. Plus it's not very personal and even if you say things you mean, it's hard for someone to take you seriously if they're just reading your words.
I think a lot of the things people have been saying are a little iffy, depending on how attached wan5 is to her.
I've been in love/trailing/being stupid with a girl for about 5-6 years. One-way street. Maybe it's a stupid case, maybe I'm just plain stupid. Even after getting the shit beaten out of me, verbally, by her... I don't feel like there's any other choice for me than to continue my feelings. It feels like its going to be a rough future.
Basically, what I'm getting as is that you can't always just go find someone else because of yourself.
I highly recommend an intimate (as in, alone) conversation, a true discussion where two people are cordially being adults and figuring out the situation. Beyond that, I highly HIGHLY recommend NO text-based communication, or even phone calls except to make plans, and don't get too drunk either. I know I've fucked up doing both, you get weird ideas in your head that seem logical at the time, and silly hours later. Plus it's not very personal and even if you say things you mean, it's hard for someone to take you seriously if they're just reading your words.
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by Barc0de on Sep 8, 2009:
IF you want to go all romantic about women then that is a choice YOU have to make. On the other hand, there's human common sense dictating survival and looking after one-self. To remotely think that amidst so many billion people you ve landed on the one that's the BEST fit for your shoe is childish and defies basic statistical rules
IF you want to go all romantic about women then that is a choice YOU have to make. On the other hand, there's human common sense dictating survival and looking after one-self. To remotely think that amidst so many billion people you ve landed on the one that's the BEST fit for your shoe is childish and defies basic statistical rules
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by alecjahn on Sep 8, 2009:
This is very very true, Barc0de, but one cannot deny a connection or attraction if it exists.
This is very very true, Barc0de, but one cannot deny a connection or attraction if it exists.
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by graphique on Sep 8, 2009:
So I could certainly imagine a situation where not attempting to "trade up" would be the optimal choice.
As previously mentioned, this isn't one of them though.
But if you move beyond the basic statistical rules, you also have to factor in the mean expected time to find someone who'd be a better fit, cross-referenced with your own decreasing desirability with age
Barc0de said:
To remotely think that amidst so many billion people you ve landed on the one that's the BEST fit for your shoe is childish and defies basic statistical rules
So I could certainly imagine a situation where not attempting to "trade up" would be the optimal choice.As previously mentioned, this isn't one of them though.
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by Parris on Sep 8, 2009:
I am trying to imagine the woman you marry mate, she'll not stand for your logical analysis and I'll print this off as part of the wedding speech!
Barc0de said:
IF you want to go all romantic about women then that is a choice YOU have to make. On the other hand, there's human common sense dictating survival and looking after one-self. To remotely think that amidst so many billion people you ve landed on the one that's the BEST fit for your shoe is childish and defies basic statistical rules
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by ninty on Sep 8, 2009:
If it gets that bad , pick a man
If it gets that bad , pick a man
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by chaoticdaos on Sep 8, 2009:
Hopefully you'll find someone on the rebound. It's better than getting into drugs and alcohol. I can't even imagine how difficult this is on you.
Hopefully you'll find someone on the rebound. It's better than getting into drugs and alcohol. I can't even imagine how difficult this is on you.
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by Hawanja on Sep 8, 2009:
Seriously, if she doesn't like you, and you're not content on just being platonic friends, you're just wasting your time. One day she'll either move or get married, and all the time and effort you put in amounts to nothing. What are you hoping for, that one day she'll just wake up and realize she loves you? Good luck with that.
Maybe I'm just old now, but I don't have time for girls givin' me grief, if she's not interested then fuck it, move on, her loss.
You know I used to do things like this, that is follow women around who were just not interested, but not anymore.
I've been in love/trailing/being stupid with a girl for about 5-6 years. One-way street. Maybe it's a stupid case, maybe I'm just plain stupid. Even after getting the shit beaten out of me, verbally, by her... I don't feel like there's any other choice for me than to continue my feelings. It feels like its going to be a rough future.
Seriously, if she doesn't like you, and you're not content on just being platonic friends, you're just wasting your time. One day she'll either move or get married, and all the time and effort you put in amounts to nothing. What are you hoping for, that one day she'll just wake up and realize she loves you? Good luck with that.
Maybe I'm just old now, but I don't have time for girls givin' me grief, if she's not interested then fuck it, move on, her loss.
10yr Relationship has ended.. need tips!
posted by alecjahn on Sep 8, 2009:
but that's beside the point.
OP should update us on his progress!
Well, my situation is a bit more complicated than that...
Hawanja said:
You know I used to do things like this, that is follow women around who were just not interested, but not anymore.
Seriously, if she doesn't like you, and you're not content on just being platonic friends, you're just wasting your time. One day she'll either move or get married, and all the time and effort you put in amounts to nothing. What are you hoping for, that one day she'll just wake up and realize she loves you? Good luck with that.
Maybe I'm just old now, but I don't have time for girls givin' me grief, if she's not interested then fuck it, move on, her loss.
but that's beside the point.
OP should update us on his progress!